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You find your old Barbie in your closet and feel the need to reminisce and play with it. You also realize how important it is to throw it an all-night tea party with your other dolls. You really want puffy, dark circles underneath your eyes. The “raccoon” look is the hottest new trend at school! Somehow, you end up talking to this random kid on Facebook at three in the morning. You two haven’t contacted each other since the first grade, and the only thing you had in common was watching Spongebob. Nevertheless, you feel the need to spend two hours arguing with him about who would win in a fight, Spongebob or Patrick. There’s a nightlong marathon on the nature channel about some explorer guy trying to find a sea monster in the Gulf of Mexico. You have no idea what’s going on, but for some reason, you’re fixated on the television. Your friend sends you this music video of some Asian girl band. The music is cheesy, but you watch over and over again because for some reason, you really have to learn that dance… In the middle of the night, absolutely no one else is awake in your neighborhood. You make this observation and think of the coolest thing to do, which is sneaking around the empty streets dressed like a ninja. There’s a 10-point history quiz tomorrow. You already know that you’re good at history and that the quiz would not impact your grade that greatly, but you should spend all night frantically studying for it anyway. You can’t decide on whether to wear the green shirt or the blue shirt tomorrow. Choosing the wrong shirt will heavily impact how people will react to you, which will affect the rest of your life, so pick carefully. A teacher is giving your class a test tomorrow and she says it’s worth your entire term grade. She has made you cry in the past, and now she has scared you into insomnia for the entire week. You’re ridiculously stressed. You really shouldn’t be. School has ended, vacation has started, and there’s nothing left to do except fall asleep to the sound of the pouring rain. Web Column: 10 Good Reasons Why You’re Avoiding Sleep 2010-06-22 Kathy Zhou Opinions Column Each sentence should be no more than 5 words long. Follow this example, “His name is Romeo. He loves Juliet. This is my thesis. The End.” On the other hand, ignore rule 1, and make every sentence about a page long. Your friends will find it really annoying to proofread, and your English teachers will find it really annoying to grade. Organization is bad. No outline for you! Chug down a can of Red Bull, read over your essay prompt again, and just start typing whatever comes to mind, even if it’s a story about dancing pandas. Procrastination is good. You have a whole 5 minutes in-between your current block that just ended and next block. Why not try and break a world record? Mix things up a little. Put your introduction in the middle, your conclusions at the beginning, and your title in some random sentence. It’ll be really confusing, but at least you made things more interesting. Incorporate famous sayings and proverbs into your essay, even if they are irrelevant, to make you appear more intelligent and well read. Here’s a good example: “Romeo wants to find love, because a picture is worth a thousand words, and Beyoncé had the best video of all time.” If your friends peer-edit your paper, listen to every word of advice they give you without thinking twice about it. Even if it means taking out all your quotations and elaborating on that random story about the dancing pandas. Include obnoxious phrases that don’t mean anything. The fact that you wrote them is due to the fact that the man who very much is your teacher of English will really make the interpretation that you are an idiot. No transitional phrases (furthermore, in conclusion, as a result) are needed. Take this paragraph, for instance: “Romeo loves Juliet. The moon and the son symbolize eternal love. KABLEWEY! Juliet reciprocates his love.” Because the writer put no transitional phrases in, the paragraph effectively makes no sense. NEVER sit down and take the time to do careful revisions yourself. That’s the key to writing good essays. Why on earth would you want to write good essays? The 10-Step Guide To Writing Terrible Essays 2010-06-08 Kathy Zhou Opinions None South’s boys’ volleyball ended their season tonight with a 3-0 loss to Chicopee Comp. in the state semifinal. Boys' Volleyball loses to Chicopee 2010-06-03 The Lion's Roar Sports None For the second consecutive season, the boys’ volleyball team won the South Sectional Championship. The team defeated North 3-0 in the finals tonight, and will face Chicopee on Thursday. The win tonight was highlighted by the return of senior captain Josh Podrid. Podrid has been out of the lineup with an ankle injury since April vacation. Though he did not start the game and did not enter until the second half of the second set, Podrid was on the floor when the Lions closed out the final set. Thursday night’s game against Chicopee is at Nashoba High School at 7 p.m. Boys' volleyball takes down North, wins South Sectional 2010-06-01 Sports None After sweeping Brookline 3-0 in the South sectional quarterfinals on May 25, the boys’ volleyball team took on a tougher Needham Rockets squad May 27. The Rockets would not easily go down, and neither would their considerably sized student section. In the first game, South came out strong—Needham did not gain a lead until the 15th point. Although South had the lead for the majority of the first set, Needham fought back to win 25-23 and to go up 1-0. In the second set, South regained its poise and did not give up their early lead. The Lions prevailed in a 25-17 victory in the second set. In the third set, South and Needham exchanged blows before South claimed a late lead for good. At the 10th point, Needham went up by two but it did not stay like that for long. South continued to fight back and eventually took a lead following a timeout called by coach Todd Elwell. South won the game, 25-22 and took a 2-1 lead. Despite falling behind 12-6 to open the fourth set, the home court advantage proved unstoppable; the Lions came back to tie the set at 17-17. The game stayed knotted up until a kill by senior setter Eugene Kirimov won it for South 30-28. The 3-1 win puts the Lions in the South sectional finals against Newton North on Tue., Jun. 1. Boys' volleyball defeats Needham, will face North in sectional finals 2010-05-27 Austin Pollack Sports None Choose one carefully. Remember there are over 400 freshmen roaming around the school, and each one has his or her unique needs and interests. If you don’t like any of them this year, you can wait until next year for a new herd to arrive. After you’ve picked out a freshman to adopt, it’s not too hard to make her like you. All you have to do is teach her some cool trick, like how to make the school sinks magically work by placing your hands next to the sensor under the faucet. Don’t trust them to carry your books. They might steal your gum and eat your graphing calculator (or vice versa). Freshmen are pets, not slaves. Since freshmen already have their own parents and refrigerators, you don’t need to feed them regularly. Still, they’re always going to want some of your food. If your freshman is on his best behavior, you can throw him an extra piece of chocolate as a reward. Most people would advise you to put your new freshman on a leash, but there’s no need. Freshmen are pretty intelligent creatures. Most of them can figure out where to go after a week of entering the school for the first time, and if you call out their name, they’ll usually run back to their owner. It’s important to play with your freshman on a regular basis. They love it if you grab them by their backpack strap and start swinging them around in circles. Be patient with them. Just calmly grit your teeth and listen as she complains about her five-paragraph essay due in two months when you have yet to start typing a 6-page lab report that you need to turn in tomorrow morning. Whatever you do, don’t let him know that you’ve adopted him as your pet. He might find this demeaning and run away. But he’ll probably come running back when he smells the chocolate bar you’re holding in your hands. Once you’ve adopted one, and your freshman is growing pretty independent, you might want to try adopting one or two more. You can never adopt too many freshmen. Gotta catch them all! Remember, freshmen are the future of our school, so love and cherish your freshman no matter what. Even if he eats your Spanish homework. Web Column: How to Take Care of Your New Pet Freshman 2010-05-24 Kathy Zhou Opinions None The boys volleyball team begins its postseason run on Tuesday, May 25 when it faces Brookline at home in a South sectional quarterfinal matchup. The game is scheduled to start at 7 p.m. Boys volleyball team looks to quarterfinals 2010-05-18 Aaron Belowich Sports None Sign up for an exam in a random class you don’t even take, or one you’ve never heard existed before (AP Human Geography, anyone?). If you are in fact taking an AP test in the AP class you took this year, good for you! Hopefully you’ve spent every class period passed out snoring on your desk or counting the dots on the ceiling instead of taking notes. If it’s the end of the year and you haven’t been sleeping in your college-level class, it’s never too late to start! Losers who want to get a 5 usually get some really fat review book at the beginning of the year. These books are usually a couple hundred pages long, with bolded terms and a bunch of practice tests. But you, on the other hand, shouldn’t worry about that stuff. All you need in order to fail is to buy something simpler, like A Toddler’s Guide to Fun Facts About American Presidents for reviewing. A month before the AP, or whenever you start “studying”, burn all your notes and Powerpoints in a giant bonfire for good luck. Sometimes teachers will host review sessions a few weeks before the exam to give informative lectures and test-taking tips. Don’t go to any of them. Instead, host your own “review session” where you fall asleep while watching Spongebob. Go crazy the night before the test. Stay up all night eating jalapeño peppers and watching every horror movie playing on TV. Try to see if you can bike to Canada and bike and still make it in time for your exam the next morning. On the day of the AP, throw out all your No. 2 pencils and black pens. Proceed to bubble in the multiple choice section with a highlighter and write your essay with rainbow crayons. Answer the multiple choice section by choosing the most logically wrong-sounding answer. If they all sound wrong, use process of elimination and cross out the ones that sound the most right. There’s no point in attempting to write the “Cohesive-Essay-with-Main-Points-and-a-Clear-Thesis”. It’s better to scribble “I hate the College Board” over and over again in your provided essay space. Most importantly, shake away any feeling of self-assurance that you have. Because if you’re actually calm, relaxed, and self-confident, you might actually do really well on your AP exam (and you don’t want that to happen, do you?). Web Column: 10 Ways to Fail (a.k.a. get a 1) on your AP Exam 2010-05-10 Kathy Zhou Opinions Column If one were to ask a member of South’s baseball team how their vacation was, the response would almost certainly be positive. Boys Baseball remains undefeated 2010-04-25 Austin Pollack Sports None Go through your Facebook pictures and untag yourself in all the photos that make your butt look big or your eyes look squinty. Start begging and crying to your friend who took them to destroy those pictures immediately. Senior Column: 10 Ways to be a Tool Part 1 2010-04-11 Kathy Zhou Opinions Column On March 25, members of South’s Harambee Gospel Choir performed at Boston’s House of Blues as a part of “A Night for Haiti,” joining the ranks of Snoop Dogg and Martin Sexton. The event was held to benefit UNICEF’s relief work in Haiti and to thank the Boston Celtic’s Shamrock Foundation for raising over $100,000. Harambee rocks The House 2010-04-05 David Altman Arts None On Mar. 28, junior Kathy O’Keefe was named a Boston Globe All-Scholastic. She won the 2010 Massachusetts Division 1 Indoor Track title for the mile. You can read a full-length article on O’Keefe here. Other DCL All-Stars from the fall season include: O’Keefe named Globe All-Scholastic 2010-03-28 Aaron Belowich Sports None Stuff four cloves of garlic into your mouth. Chew thoroughly. Rinse with a glass of milk from 1972 and repeat that first part. Go up to that guy or girl of your dreams and ask away. Senior Column: 10 Ways of Ruining Your Chances of Getting a Date (for Prom, Semi, life, etc.) 2010-03-28 Kathy Zhou Opinions None The South boys’ volleyball team won back-to-back games this week against Latin Academy and Needham High School. South sweeps Latin, Needham 2010-03-27 Aaron Belowich Sports None Also see: Ligerbots compete in upcoming tournaments Ligerbots place well, look toward future 2010-03-23 Josh Garvin News None Off the court, junior Sophie Bikofsky might be close friends with Lincoln-Sudbury junior Lindsey Jones. But when South faced L-S for the second time this season today, it was a whole new story. Until Jones went down with an injury, the two played tight, intense defense, as if they didn’t know one another. With five minutes remaining in the third quarter, South junior Semira Haghayeghi set a pick on Jones, sending the star L-S forward straight to the ground. Jones stood up for a split-second as the ball went out-of-bounds, but then went straight back to the ground. So when trainer Andy Ray rushed onto the court to treat Jones, Bikofsky was standing right beside Jones. Jones (8 points), who hit a 3-pointer halftime buzzer beater to bring the Warriors within five, was unable to return to the game. After Jones’ injury, Bikofsky (16 points, 5 rebounds) and the rest of the Lions were nearly unstoppable, winning Tuesday’s matchup with L-S 70-53. South (13-2) also received strong performances from the juniors Kendall Burton (17 points, five rebounds) and Chloe Rothman (12 points). The Lions avenged their Dec. 21 59-51 loss to L-S (9-5). The Warriors received strong performances from the game’s leading scorer, senior captain Elizabeth Newman (19 points) and junior guard Nyah Berg (8 points). South will scrimmage against The Rivers School on Wed. Feb. 3. The women’s head coaches of Boston College and Duke University are expected to be in attendance for tomorrow’s scrimmage before the coaches square off for an ACC match-up Thursday night. The Lions return to DCL action on Fri. Feb. 5 against Boston Latin. Lions win 70-53 against Lincoln-Sudbury 2010-02-02 Aaron Belowich Sports None The fire alarm was pulled twice on Jan. 22 during A and F Block, bringing the total pulled fire alarms this year to three. As a result of these alarms Principal Joel Stembridge decided to extend the school day by 20 minutes on Mon. Jan. 25 to make up for the “educational time” that was lost during both the alarms. Two alarms in one day 2010-01-23 The Lion's Roar News None Project adventure going strong 2010-01-16 Melanie Fineman Sports None Students raise $1,400 for Haiti relief 2010-01-15 The Lion's Roar News None Fire alarm disturbs J Block 2010-01-13 The Lion's Roar News None

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