As the college race heats up and academic pressure intensifies as students progress through high school, some parents have trouble handing over responsibility to their students. These parents, often called “helicopter parents,” parents continue to manage their children’s academic affairs long after the student feels ready to do it him or herself. “[My parents] hired me a college advisor, signed me up for an essay writing workshop, took me college touring and helped me organize my college applications and transcripts,” an anonymous senior said. After spending many weekends of her summer vacation visiting schools, she finished her applications before the school year even began. Initially, having so much preparation and help would seem like a relief, but for this senior it added extra pressure to her already stressful life. “They always denied pressuring me, but indirectly I have always felt the need to do well in order for them to be satisfied,” she said. She realizes that her parents only want to make the process easier for her, however. The line between helpful and overbearing is very difficult to see. “As much as I hate [having my parents be so involved], I do realize they are just trying to help me out,” she said. Senior Danny Zoloterovsky feels his parents’ strictness is influenced by their background. “Immigrant Russian parents had to work really hard, so they’re mentality is that you have to work your hardest,” Zoloterovsky said. He sees his parents’ involvement as their way of making sure their children don’t have to experience what they went though immigrating. Similarly, senior Dan Li, who comes from an Asian-American household, sometimes finds his parents’ involvement stressful. “The pressure affected my schoolwork at one point, but I learned to manage my own time,” Li said. Some seniors have drastically different opinions from their parents about where to apply to college. For example, senior Erik Peterson’s parents are encouraging him to apply to Quinnipiac College, a school that Peterson has no desire to attend. In addition, one anonymous senior’s mother continually changes his college essay. While he knows that she only wants to improve it, he worries that her edits change his voice in his writing. Mark Crawford, a clinical psychologist, recently said in an interview on CNN.com that the increasing trend of “helicopter parents” generates teens who can’t solve problems on their own. If seventeen and eighteen year olds can’t do their own college searching and create goals for themselves, how will they be able to make their own decisions once in college? While some guidance is necessary, Crawford suggests that parents need to grant students some level of independence. Because of modern technology, many parents can keep in direct contact with their students with text messaging, e-mailing, and phone calls just a click away. 86 percent of college freshmen were in contact with their mothers via phone or computer and 71 percent of freshmen were in contact with their fathers, according to The National Survey of Student Engagement. An anonymous junior confesses that when she doesn’t answer her mother’s phone call after many attempts to get in contact, her mother will then call her friends, asking for her daughter. Freshman and junior English teacher Joe Scozzaro finds that parental pressure in South’s academic environment is not detrimental. “It’s not like systematic where parents have always been like that [overly involved],” Scozzaro said. He has seen parents become overly involved, but only for short periods of time. Goldrick guidance counselor Lenny Libenzon has noticed the same thing. In his time at South, Libenzon has seen some parents choose classes for their children, but he believes that comes with living in Newton. The parental involvement in high school is “normal,” but once college hits, Libenzon thinks the parents should tone it down and let their kids move on without their constant help. “Every family has its own structure. All parents pressure in different ways,” Libenzon said.
"Helicopter" parents take control
Issue 25-4 · Article Type: Print Article
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