I am lucky. I live a nice life, attend a rigorous high school and have great friends. I have two parents and a sister who love me and have never ceased to provide me with food, shelter, clothing or anything I have needed. Yet, compared to many of my friends, I have a challenging life.
My parents have been divorced since I was two. They do not call, e-mail or speak to each other. They each have a set of doctors’ appointments they attend. Dad takes me to the dentist, the eye-doctor, the orthodontist and the physical therapist. Mom takes me to my pediatrician, the brain doctor and the allergy doctor; they avoid each other at all costs. They switch off sports games, flute recitals and parent-teacher meetings.
I spend Monday and Tuesday evenings with Mom, Wednesday and Thursday evenings with Dad and switch off every weekend. Some call it chaos, but for me, it’s life. I drag a set of textbooks between the houses (despite explaining to teachers that I could really use a second textbook) and frequently forget athletic gear or an essay saved on the other computer.
It is not a hard system, but one that has taught me organization and independence. I must know not only what I need for the next day, but all the clothing, notebooks, textbooks, keys and travel mugs I will need for the next several days. Every evening I must e-mail any unfinished work to myself, so that I can access it from either house.
During the holidays my schedule changes; in some ways, it becomes easier. I spend the entire break with one parent, which limits the shuffling. I pack up the necessary clothes (sometimes tropical, sometimes wintery). Most holidays are spent visiting grandparents or just vacationing. Either one is far from home, and far away from my other parent.
Although the holidays bring less chaos, they also bring sadness. Many of the holidays celebrate good fortune and having a happy and healthy family. On Christmas, giving thanks for having such wonderful parents is difficult when I can only spend the holiday with one parent. I have learned to appreciate the time I spend with each of my parents and have learned to rely on many phone calls to voice my love.
The holidays switch every year. If I spend Thanksgiving with my mom and Christmas with my dad, the next year I will spend Thanksgiving with my dad and Christmas with my mom. The annual switching prevents traditions or routines from forming, so every year is a new year.
Now that I can drive, my life has loosened considerably. Both my parents work full time and are therefore constantly occupied. Before I could drive, I was often stuck at school or at home alone. Now, however, I can meet with friends, go to school, attend appointments and retrieve forgotten items without the help of my parents.
I love both of my parents and could never choose between them. The two houses have different perks and different flaws. Although they are completely opposite, each house brings out a different part of me, a part that I could not reveal without it.
I do not regret my parent’s divorce. It has helped me deal with adversity and has given me a taste of the challenging lives many Americans outside of Newton live. Although there are times I would have benefited from fewer complications, or thought my friends were more “normal,†I have never wished for them to live together. I respect that they are happy as they are, and I am stronger for it.
