The other day I was sitting in my vintage mahogany rocking chair, kindling the fire in my genuine marble fireplace (designed by the Portuguese architect Alvaro Siza himself), when I realized that my supply of Russian beluga caviar was inexcusably low. I was famished after composing several symphonies on my Yugoslavian mountain maple desk (handcrafted by a team of professionals). I signaled for my butler to come and carry me to my 1931 Bugatti Royale Kellner Coupe (with full-grain leather seats, of course).
After deciding not to get in the vehicle, I returned to my Yugoslavian mountain maple desk and sipped a glass of Sicilian Nero d’Avolo while playing chess on my Royal Diamond Set (crafted by a team of thirty artisans under the direction of Bernard Maquin over a period of 4,500 hours).
As you’ve seen in the previous paragraphs, some people — such as myself — can afford to drink whatever they please. But for the proletariat, the foolish youth of society today, it is of the utmost importance to find a beverage that both quenches thirst with a full-bodied flavor and leaves your wallet feeling full-bodied, as well.
But where can the dirty youth obtain such a fine beverage?
One of the most innovative companies in the industry, AriZona Iced Tea consistently brings refreshment to those seeking it for very low prices. In countless flavors, sizes and umamis, Arizona Tea uses rich, smooth tea grown on the tiptop of the Camellia Waldenae tree in Southeast Asia. The tea is picked by mountain goats that are trained to climb to the top. The mountain goats live in communal housing and are forced to leave their families in order to provide us with the optimum tealeaves.
Arizona offers a plethora of tasty flavors, ranging from the classic Lemon Tea to their Mucho Mango fruit based drink, which actually has no tea in it. Other flavors include the Black and White, a twist on two basic brews fused into a symbiotic relationship, each benefiting the other. This tea, balanced from the right amount of raw sugar, creates a drink that is both bold and unbold. Their zero calorie drinks leaves a little to be desired, but nonetheless are tasty refreshments. Their classic Arnold Palmer combines their legendary black tea brew with tart delicious lemonade. It’s delicious, with a sweet and tangy that rejuvenates me nonstop. No matter what the flavor, AriZona gives you a great taste for a low price.
Just today, AriZona announced a new tea invention. The classic Arnold Palmer combines their legendary black tea brew with tart, delicious lemonade. The new special edition Arnold Palmer has more to it than just this classic drink. It arrives in a special bottle that “uses state of the art amber PET technology with ultraviolet light barriers to protect the delicate tea and natural antioxidants for your benefit,” as stated by the AriZona Company.
Sophomore Aaron Wolff, an avid AriZona Tea drinker, bellowed from across a field of tealeaves, “On a preposterously scorching day, AriZona is the friend who grabs me by the hand and gives me a smile. For years, the familiar bottle has offered both a wide range of healthy antioxidants and friendship like nothing else.”
The famous golfer and beverage entrepreneur Arnold Palmer once famously said, “[Tea] is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening — and it is without a doubt the greatest [drink] mankind has ever invented.”
